Maybe.

Now is the time when I should smile, say that I had a great time and I’m fully relaxed and ready for a new week. Sure, all that was my feeling on train back. This is how I felt till about 18, 47. When you once again took me for granted. Told me things that I have to do and things that I have to say.
Not even a hug to wish me welcome back, no eye contact and no “nice to see you”. I don’t think that I have felt more alone then during those seconds. It hurts. Don’t promise me one thing and then do another. Not a good end to a really good weekend.

How I wish I could read you mind. Just so I knew how to feel, how to act and how to be. I’m really confused because I can’t tell how you feel about me.

But this was a nice weekend. I really needed it. I think I needed it to realise that things can’t always be the same, forever. People change and I have changed. We can’t always feel the same as we did 2 years ago. Its hard to face, but maybe we don’t need each other anymore. Maybe we stayed by each others side because we didn’t know better. We needed each other to survive, and maybe we don’t need that anymore. We have our own lives now, and other friends that maybe understand us better.

There are things that I even can’t tell you. And it hurts so much. I’m afraid that you will judge me. And later use it against me. It’s sad, and this is exactly what I was afraid of.
Please prove me wrong.


Vi har fått en konstig ko…