You.

When is life gonna stop spinning? When is life gonna start being easy? I wish I could stop, sit down and say that I was genuine happy.
I still can’t believe that I’m holding his picture in my hand, and I still can’t stop the hatred that surrounds me. You that just knocked on my door and took a big steep into my life and I don’t know how to get you out. Sitting next to me and talking about your problems and your pain. What happened to mine? What happened to my feelings? When can I cry?
I can’t take it anymore.



I just want you to listen.

Just.

I think I’m still waiting for you to call. But whenever I watch over on my phone, it is still all black. Where are you? Pick up the phone…

I’m sick today, been lying in bed all day long. Feels good doing nothing for a change. So I don’t have as much stuff to write about today.

Our e-mail situation is getting kind of interesting. Let’s keep it that way.


Just let me know.

ever.

I’m sorry that I called. I should never ever have picked up the phone. But I didn’t think you would answer; now it’s a big blown-up thing. I can’t be here anymore, just wanted it to be over. I still have a dream to walk where the clouds are big and covered in clover. I can’t forget all the mistakes I have done and it takes a lifetime to get over them. I count the reasons why I can’t stand myself, and I’m looking in your eyes for the answers. Life isn’t easy, maybe it shouldn’t be. However I wish that sometimes, someone could see that I’m really hurting. At the same time I might be really bad of seeing myself. Maybe I just look at you without really seeing you. If that is the case, I’m sorry.

I’ am still in love with my book. It makes me feel like I want to be a teacher. I want to make a difference.

Don’t know what I would do without you. Thank you for needing me.


I never really thought you would answer.

Hurts.

It’s turning in to a scary dream, and I don’t know when I’m waking up. People keep saying things to me, but I don’t understand. I see their lips moving but yet I don’t hear a sound. I’m living in my own little world and I don’t like it. I keep fighting trying to get out of my bubble but I’m not getting anywhere. Getting tired of always seeing a bit blurry and don’t hear what people have to say.
Like an empty glass is filled with something unnecessary my life just keeps going, without a meaning.

I have fallen in love, with a book. Tuesdays with Morrie.
And that was the end of his secret.


My hearts hurts.

Cope.

It seems like life is running away from me. And I can’t catch up. Problems keep on coming my way and I don’t know where to turn. There is always somewhere to be and someone to see. Once again my life feels like a train, people are coming and going in my life. And I have no saying in who’s coming on or off. Some people I hope can read my signals, because sometimes I want them to stay a little longer.

But its gonna be ok. Someone, as always, tells me that it’s gonna be all right.
And then you called, again!! And we talked for a couple of hours, sorting everything out. It felt good. You always make me feel good.

I love my friends. I feel blessed.
Thank you.
But it’s hard now, and I don’t know how to cope.


Reason why.